I dont know how

I don't know how to not be everything that I am.

I am many things... great, neutotic, a little bit of a mentat . Or at least someone who can recognize dune when quoted.a girl who cries at movies, loves select George Michael songs and belts them in the car.

a girl who will never understand men and I think I'm OK with that. I have luck but not lucky with love. Im learning to try and be okay with that.

I enjoy the small things like the sunset's reflection on the lake... And the honeysuckle smell as I walk the dog.

Despite my minor depresh. I'm okay I  even okay by myself St Steven Patrick Morrissey would be proud.

I guess the moral of this post is to be happy with ones lot. Take the good with the bad. And its OK to cry at the movies.

I needed a cry. Maybe it was my cry for the week. I wish that was true. I know sat I'll be a big ball of mess.  I'm dreading going up to PA. I'm excited to see friends.

Check out this song: http://www.releaselyrics.com/ec17/the-future-kings-of-nowhere-like-a-staring-contest/

Fortress de alba playlist: this is a time travelers wife reference... freedom, Blank white page, happiness writes white, whiter shade of pale, moonson, pretty little girl from Chile, palm reader. You and me, where is my mind, sometimes you have to work on Christmas, 2 out of 3 ain't bad, blankest year, I almost do, mid air, in the mirror, Carlotta Valdez, always love.

Someday I will find someone who will want my mix tapes. Maybe for awhile I'll just create them for myself.

I'll never stop being me. I'm just waiting for the right place right time. Chemistry and timing. Timing's a bitch.

For now I'm done with dating. I'm gonna work on me. Cause I'm a bit of a mess. I know what I want but I keep finding and falling for men who don't know what they want or are emotionally unavailable. Which is not good for a 'woman in her 30s we don't mess around with commitment' himym.

I'm thinking about a trip to Seattle. Nada Surf is playing. Its been too long since I've seen them.