Okay Awesome.

I've Been rewatching himym season 9.  Its good not as good as other episodes but good.

I honestly think one of the best episode is how your mother met me.  It's a really good emotionally deep episode. It's about letting go. Taking that time for you. About not rushing it. That love or that lifetime love that you want is out there.

I feel like that. Sometimes I got to realize to be patient. He will find me exactly and precisely when he is supposed to... Right place, right time. And when he does he will never stop loving me & he will never give me up. I'm his lebenslanger schicksalschatz. You don't let go of that once you find it.

In the last week I feel very transitional. I feel like a Phoenix. I'm in that crappy molting my feathers soon I'll be ash and dust but give me a little time and hells bells oh my goodness I am truly going to be something else entirely.

I think how far I've gone in a year and some change and amazed. Awed.

Which brings me to my next point... I'm detatching and choosing to be celibate for how long ish I'm not sure but for at least the next 3 months I'm going to work on me, I'm choosing to find myself to love me.

I'm gonna meditate and be like me but a non obsessive lovely version of me.

Cause I am getting a lot from these audio books.  Yes yesterdays blog was me being satirical? Silly? You can't stop being codependent by being narcissistic but you stop it by breaking patterns, taking time for you being selfish - by that I also mean self-ish. It means giving a shit about giving a shit about you. It's about manifesting change and Destiny and only you can fucking do it. And don't expect anything from anyone. You can't control or change anything but yourself. Ppl can't and don't change unless they decided to change.

That song I couldn't for the life of me remember is I will survive by cake.

Today's short playlist (in reverse)

23 by Jimmy eat world
Love goes anyway by nada surf
I will survive by cake
The last time by Taylor swift & Gary lightbody
Save me by queen
Some girls are bigger than others by the smiths
Enjoy the silence by nada surf
I remembered what I was going to say by nada surf
She said yes by the wedding band
Imaginary bars by great lake swimmers.
Unobstructed views by death cab for cutie