never say never

Not only is that a great song by Romeo void that I had the pleasure of listening to it for the first time yesterday before the run and yes it's going to be on my playlist.

But I feel like it's very true today. I feel words like never and try (yes I'm quoting you know who from empire).

I let my uncle (on a trial run) take my big dog. it's something I always said I'd never. And I've done it twice.  Once cause it was an ultimatum recently engaged and I was stupid in love.  Now, even on a trial basis I feel like I'm reliving some of that. Fuck. I just feel shifty but he was getting to be too much for me, he'd get super aggressive with other dogs.

I feel relief and gutted all at the same time. I am a bad mom. A very bad bad mommy. I need a hug.

So I'm riding in the car feeling sad. I can watch doctor who and outlander (which is absolutely fantastic) to sooth my soul.

Now I want to cry. But I'll wait till I get home.